What's love got to do with it?

Weeks after news broke that R&B sensation, Chris Brown, was arrested for allegedly assaulting his girlfriend, music sweetheart Rihanna, the couple is reportedly back together. The assault and the reunion has sparked a wave of anger and concerns, but most importantly it has sparked much needed discussions. Out of this unfortunate situation has risen an opportunity for parents and mentors to speak to our youth. Mothers speak to your daughters; share your scars, your mistakes, your heartaches, and especially your victories. As women, we should not be ashamed of the mistakes we made in past or present relationships. It is from these mistakes that our daughters, sisters, and others we love, will come to know that they are not the only ones who have made bad choices. Our forthrightness will show that it is okay to ask for help or just walk away.

Fathers speak to your sons, speak to your daughters, let them know that love is not abuse, love is not sex, love is not even money. Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant. Let your sons know that men are able to get their hearts broken and what to do when that happens, let your daughters know that they don't need a man to feel beautiful, loved, or complete because they are fearfully and wonderfully made. Let your son's know it is not okay to hit a woman and your daughters know that it is not okay to hit a man. Don't let the fear of looking weak prevent you from being strong for your children.


Charles Barkely once stated that he is no one’s role model, but once you enter the very sought after celebrity status, a person becomes a "role model". Whether they are good one or a bad one, they are someone’s role model. As a role model to millions of fans Rihanna has become an unwilling poster child for abuse, joining a growing list of famous women who have suffered abuse at the hands of the men they loved; Tina Turner, Robin Givens, and Halle Berry just to name a few. Unfortunately she has joined a longer list of unnamed women and girls who on a daily basis hide black and blue marks and who accidentally "run into doors". The images the young singers personified and the relationship people envied will forever be marred by one night that made headlines and possibly many others that did not. This incident should not be used as an opportunity to sell magazines, to dissect Chris and Rihanna, or to even write witty blogs, this incident should be used to empower our daughters and to put an end to domestic abuse.

For help or more information about domestic abuse visit National Domestic Violence Hotline or contact 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224.